Just another fan (TH)

Just Another Fan is just another Tokio Hotel fanfic :D


1. Goodbye daddy

I looked out of the window. The rain was pouring down. I didn't really feel like going to school. I wanted to go back to bed, and just stay there for the rest of my life. I felt like it was too early to go back to school. Everyone was going to feel so sorry for me, and no one was going to dare to say anything to me. This was going to be the worst part. All the pity would kill me.
I wasn't the kind of person who cried a lot. I had cried twice in my life. The first time was when I was 6 and my rabbit passed away, and the second time was 5 days ago when my dad died from cancer. Even though I felt like it was for the best.

He had been sick for such a long time, and it got even worse everyday. In September the doctors started to give him less medication so he would pass away quicker and he wouldn't suffer much longer.
He was so weak, and he hated it. My dad used to be in a very good shape, and he exercised a lot. Having to lay in a bed ever single day killed him.

When I first heard that he was dead I didn't cry, because my mom was there. I saw it come, and I had said goodbye to him already. I went to the hospital with my mom and my little sister, and they cried so hard. I felt like I had to be the strong one.
But when they left to leave my dad and I alone for a bit, I took my dads hand and held it tight. And then I cried. I tried to fight it, but the tears streamed down my face. I wouldn't admit to myself that he was dead, he couldn't be. But he was. On some level I knew he was dead though. 
"Goodbye daddy", I whispered in his ear before I removed the tears from my face. I didn't want my mom or my sister to see that I had been crying. 

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10 minutes to 9, so if I should make it in time I had to leave soon.
I opened my computer to listen to Monsoon by Tokio Hotel. That song had helped me through my dads dead for some unknown reason. And so had Tokio Hotel.
I wanted to let them know how much they had helped me and how amazing they were, but I knew that they wouldn't see it anyways. I had kind of given up on trying to win any of their contest or to get a message from them.  

Monsoon finished and I ran out of the door to get to school in time. I was living very close to my school, so I could walk from my home 2 minutes before school started and still make it in time. The walk to my school was kinda weird. People I didn't know came over to me and asked if I was okay, and said they were sorry.
I recognized ​some of them from my dad's funeral, but there had been so many people that either my mom or I knew.

When I arrived to my school everyone turned around and looked at me like I was a helpless puppy. I hated when people had pity on me, and now everyone felt sorry for me and my family.

I wish that people would just act normal when they were around me. It would make everything so much easier. But things weren't supposed to be easy.
I didn't even feel sorry for myself. I wasn't the one who passed away, my dad did. Everyone should feel sorry for him instead. He died in an age of 37. It was way too early.

My mom didn't really handle his dead so well. She quit her job, and began to stay at home and just stare out of the window all of the time. I had to get a job so I could make some money. I had to cook, empty the mailbox, pay the bills and just do everything my mom and dad used to do for me. 

The hardest thing was to watch television. My dad and I used to have major fight over the remote control. He wanted to watch some old documentaries and I wanted to watch something funny. We always ended up watching his documentary, but somehow I was always laughing anyways.
My dad used tk made jokes about everything, and he made life so much more fun. 

But now I was just sitting at home listening to Tokio Hotel songs and taking care of my mom and sister. I was the grown up now. And I was only 17.

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