He's Not Worth It || Harry Styles AU

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“He’s not worth it.” That’s the lie Maggie’s been telling herself for months. That it wasn’t worth it to even try to get involved with a man like Harry Styles. He was a world traveler, a famous musician. And her? She was just his neighbor. A friend. “He’s not worth it.” She said it so many times to herself, but never once did she believe it.

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21. {Twenty-One - Promise, Promise}

Maggie woke up the next morning and Harry was already awake, sitting up in bed spooning cereal into his mouth from the bowl in his hand. He was wearing a t-shirt and boxers and his hair was disheveled. He was a sight – an absolutely beautiful sight.

“Good morning,” he mumbled through a mouthful of what looked like raisin bran.

“Hi,” Maggie greeted through her raspy morning voice. He smiled amusingly at her as she buried her face in the pillow.

“So, hey…” Harry said, trying to get her attention as he set his cereal bowl on the nightstand next to him.

“Hmm?” She hummed, looking up at him.

“What did you mean when you said ‘you’re worth it’?” Harry asked curiously.

Maggie blinked a few times as she looked over at him. He seemed like he had been thinking and analyzing it for a while. Maggie couldn’t help the bashful smile that erupted across her lips and the blush that crept up her cheeks. 

“What?” He asked, the side of his mouth turning up into a smirk and Maggie couldn’t help but giggle.

“What?” He asked again as she sat up in bed next to him.

“I don’t know. It’s stupid,” she huffed, feeling bashful.

“I want to know,” Harry insisted, watching her carefully.

“I don’t know. I just… I always tried to convince myself that you weren’t worth it… that my crush on you wasn’t worth it, because like, you’re you and… and I’m me…”

“What does that mean? I’m me and you’re you?” Harry asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I don’t know. Gahhh. You’re Harry Styles, man. That’s what I mean,” she grumbled, unable to look over at him as her cheeks blushed rapidly.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Harry asked, sounding a bit offended.

“Oh, shut up. I know you just see yourself as a normal person, but to everyone else, including me, you’re not a normal person, Harry,” Maggie explained as she finally looked up at him before rolling her eyes.

Harry let out a sigh and rolled his own eyes. As much as he would like to believe he was just Harry, it wasn’t how the world worked. It wasn’t how society worked.

“So, okay? You tried to convince yourself I wasn’t worth it?” Harry questioned, his eyes back on her.

“Yeah. I mean, I would sit there and literally tell myself ‘he’s not worth it, he’s not worth it’,” Maggie confessed, using the back of her hand to cover up her bashful smile.

“How did that work out for you?” He asked, smirking playfully at her.

“It didn’t, as you can see. I’m naked in your bed,” she laughed, pulling the blankets away from her body.

“Yes, you are,” he cooed, smirking wildly as he gave her body the once over before she covered herself up again. 

Maggie let out a nervous laugh, because she couldn’t believe she just confessed that to him. It was so embarrassing. 

“You’re adorable,” Harry threw in as he smiled over at her.

Oh my god,” she groaned as she blushed wildly, putting her hand over her face.

“Are you embarrassed?” He chuckled, watching everything she did.

Yes,” she told him honestly.

“Don’t be. I’m quite chuffed,” he offered and she rolled her eyes at him because she knew he was just being nice.

“You wanted me so terribly much that you had to try to convince yourself I wasn’t good enough. What’s more adorable than that?” Harry chuckled, smiling widely at her.

“Stop talking about it,” Maggie laughed uncomfortably.

“Oh, you’re so cute when you’re bashful,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on the bed with him.

“You’re so cute when you’re not pressing me for embarrassing information,” she retorted, narrowing her gaze at him.

Oh, Maggie May,” Harry cooed, nuzzling his nose up to her cheeks as they lay on the bed together. 

Maggie didn’t speak, because she didn’t want to continue on the silly topic. Harry didn’t speak either for a while, cuddling up in the crook of her arm, his head lying on her bare chest. 

“Are you really okay, Maggie?” Harry asked quietly.

“With what?” She hummed, taking a deep, content breath.

“With everything. Your granddad… us…” He explained, causing Maggie to cringe before she took another deep breath.

“Maggie?” Harry questioned, lifting his head to look into her eyes. She took the opportunity to sit up and he did the same.

“For the most part, I try not to think about things,” she told him quietly.

“Isn’t that kind of… unhealthy?” Harry asked, looking at her concerned.

“You think it’s healthy to over-analyze everything?” She countered, her eyes snapping to his, furrowed and annoyed.

“Well, no…” He said quietly.

“Because that’s what I do,” she sighed. Harry’s gaze fell to his hands as he picked at his cuticles.

“Flashes of Kendall standing in your doorway… god. And you…” Maggie started, but the words weren’t coming easily to her.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said quietly, looking almost pained.

“It just… it really fucked with my head,” she told him as she pulled the blankets up her body, suddenly feeling so insecure.

“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” Harry apologized, looking straight into her eyes. His eyes were wide and full of remorse and she knew he truly was sorry.

“I just… I wish you wouldn’t have kept me in the dark. I wish you would’ve just given me the heads up that she was coming over to get her stuff and that’s all it was,” Maggie explained.

“I’m sorry. I just… I just thought if I could get her to come and get her shit, then it would be over. You wouldn’t have to worry about her. I wouldn’t have to worry about her,” Harry continued.

“So why were you so ready to go with her to her place and ‘talk’? You were showering while she waited for you in your house for god sakes,” Maggie pointed out as she felt her blood pressure begin to rise again just thinking about Kendall.

Christ, I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut, scrunching up his nose. She could tell he felt terrible, that he felt completely stupid about it.

“It was just… it wasn’t what I expected when your door swung open. It really hurt me. And all my insecurities took over. I was… I was ready to let you go, Harry,” she confessed sadly. His eyes flew open, looking her straight in the eyes.

“You… you can’t just do that. You can’t just decide something like that without talking to me, Maggie. God. You didn’t even have my side of the story,” Harry snapped, getting a little upset with her.

“As far as I was concerned, you didn’t have a side of the story. Your side of the story was you standing half-naked at the top of your stairs while your ex-girlfriend answered your door. That was enough for me,” Maggie retorted as her voice raised a little with the anger that still resonated inside of her over the unfortunate situation. Harry sighed heavily, shaking his head.

“I don’t want to have to constantly wonder if one day you’re just going to leave – that you’re going to give up on us. I don’t plan to fuck up to this caliber ever again, but if I do, I want to know you’ll hear me out at least,” Harry told her, his eyebrows knit tightly together.

“If you do?” She asked incredulously, her mouth dropping open in awe. She couldn’t even fathom what she would do or how she would process it if Harry fucked up this bad again.

God, Maggie. You know what I mean. I-I deserve a chance to explain,” he retorted.

“If this happens again, Harry… I don’t know,” she said truthfully, shaking her head.

God, you’re so stubborn,” he growled angrily.

“I’m being honest,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Well, I’m being honest when I say that’s not fucking fair,” Harry retorted as he stood up out of bed, looking down at her.

“Life isn’t fair, Harry,” Maggie said, standing up as well, just so Harry didn’t have the upper hand. She bent over, grabbing her clothes from the floor before she began dressing herself. 

“Where are you going?” Harry scoffed, his brow furrowing in concern.

“Nowhere. I feel naked enough with you yelling at me, I don’t need to actually be naked,” she snapped at him.

“I’m not yelling at you. Baby… god,” Harry huffed, stepping toward her, softening his features as she pulled her shirt over her head.

“I just… I’m just frustrated. I don’t want to lose you,” he said sweetly, his voice soft and loving.

“You have me, Harry. But I can’t make any promises on how I’ll feel in the future pending a situation like this again,” she told him honestly.

“I just… I feel like you’re not all the way here. Like you haven’t really forgiven me,” Harry said, grabbing onto her arms.

“I’m here. And I forgive you. It’s the forgetting that’s a little tricky,” she sighed, nuzzling her nose against his chest.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Harry apologized again, squeezing her a little bit tighter in his arms.

“I know you’re sorry. It’s just a shitty situation. Sometimes I just feel like I’m not good enough,” she confessed honestly.

“Maggie May, I don’t understand that at all,” Harry said, pulling her away from him just enough to look into her eyes.

“Harry, you can’t honestly blame me for that, can you?” She scoffed, her eyebrows furrowing.

“If only you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you’d know, Maggie. Then you’d know just how in this I am,” Harry said with so much conviction and truth in his voice, it was almost impossible not to believe him.

“You’re too good to me,” she said quietly, pulling his body back against hers.

“Plan on thinking that forever, because the way I feel for you is never going to go away. And I never want to see you sad ever again,” Harry said, kissing her forehead.

“Promise?” She asked, looking up at him hopefully.

“I promise, promise,” Harry said sweetly, making her smile and heart grow for him.

 

 

That evening, after Harry got home from the studio, he met her at her house, looking more than a little hyped up.

“Hi,” Harry said, wrapping his arms around her tightly as he kissed her so hard she felt it in her teeth.

“Hi,” she giggled, pulling back enough to look him in the eyes as he held her against him.

“I want to talk to you about something,” Harry said with a wide smile.

“Uh, okay…” She said as he loosened his grip and she took a small step back. She couldn’t really remember the last time he was this excited about something.

“Go ahead,” Maggie said, really curious about what he wanted to talk to her about.

“Uh, do you have some wine or something? I feel like we should be sitting down, drinking wine or something,” Harry said, kicking his shoes off.

“Yeah. Of course I have wine,” Maggie said with a giggle.

“Brilliant!” Harry said, taking the stairs up two by two, heading straight for the kitchen.

“Ohh-kay,” Maggie said under her breath as she followed him up.

He was already taking two wine glasses out of the cupboard when she came in the kitchen.

“Wine?” He turned around to ask.

“In the fridge,” Maggie said, smiling at him.

“Right,” Harry said, opening up the fridge door and pulling out the bottle she just opened the night before as she was doing her laundry.

Harry poured it into the two glasses and it was just enough to empty the bottle.

“Here,” Harry said, turning toward her, holding one of the wine glasses out at arm’s length. Maggie took it and smiled widely at him.

“Okay. Wine. Check. Your news now?” Maggie asked.

“Well, it’s not really news. It’s more of an idea,” Harry said, smiling over at her.

“Okay…” Maggie said, letting out a small chuckle.

“We should move in together,” Harry blurted out, causing Maggie to literally stop breathing as her eyebrows heightened. Holy shit. Harry’s smile never left his face.

“Move in together?” Maggie asked, her stomach turning, and she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“More like, get a house together,” Harry continued.

“Get a house together?” Maggie repeated.

“Yeah. Something that’s both of ours. Not just mine or not just yours. Something that’s ours,” Harry explained. Holy shit. He was serious.

“Wow,” Maggie said, blowing out a breath.

“Is that a good wow?” Harry asked, furrowing his brow at her.

“It’s a wow wow,” Maggie said. She literally was speechless.

“Ohh-kay. What does that wow mean?” Harry asked carefully, watching as Maggie took a big gulp of her wine.

“I mean, wow. That gives me a lot to think about. I just… I just… what made you come to that conclusion… us moving in together?” Maggie asked.

“I love you. You love me. Why wait?” Harry asked, getting excited about it again. Maggie took a deep breath and nodded her head.

“Really?” Harry said quickly, his eyes going wide.

“We can… we can talk about it,” Maggie told him as she set her glass of wine down on the counter.

“Oh, baby,” Harry said, wrapping his arms tightly around her, in the process accidentally spilling half his glass of wine down her back.

“Holy shit!” Maggie yelped, pulling out of his arms quickly, arching her back to get the cold wetness away from her skin.

“Babe, I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry,” Harry said quickly, putting his now mostly empty glass down next to hers.

“Ohmygod. Holy shit,” she said, quickly pulling the wet shirt off her body.

“Here,” Harry said, grabbing the kitchen towel that was hanging off the handle of her stove. He quickly wiped off her wet skin.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“I’m okay. Thank you,” Maggie said, turning to face him.

“Mags…” Harry said, gripping onto her bare sides, pulling her to him again. She wrapped her arm around his neck.

“I really do love you,” Harry told her.

“I love you too, babe,” Maggie said, leaning in to kiss his lips.

“Now… I need to take a shower,” she said, pulling out of his arms.

Ughbaby,” Harry whined as she walked backwards away from him, toward the bathroom.

“I’ll be quick,” she said with a smile.

Babe…” He whined again, like why are you leaving me?

“Very quick,” she said, spinning on her heels and dashing into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

She quickly blew out a heavy breath. Move in with him? That was big. A huge decision. And so quickly after they nearly broke up. She knew he was projecting his feelings about nearly losing her. But it was such a big step and needed to be thought out rationally. It was a huge decision.

 

 

A week passed and Maggie and Harry were finally getting back to normal from their near break up. They hadn’t revisited the topic of moving in with each other since the initial conversation. But she gave Harry back the key to her house, which she was hoping would sate him for the time being while she really gave his request some thought.

The two of them made a point to go out a few nights during that first week to show the paparazzi they weren’t broken up and that they were more in love than ever. Unfortunately, Harry’s fans went a little nuts over it. There was a whole lot of hate spewing all over the internet for their relationship. But there were also fans out there – the diehard fans, the true One Direction fans – that were happy for them and were happy that Maggie made Harry so happy, which in turn made her happy.

 While Harry was in the studio that Friday, Maggie was hanging out with Hemingway over at his house doing his laundry – yes, Harry found a female with good looks who cooks and cleans. He had been so busy working on his music in the studio that he rarely had time to do much. And to help lighten his load, and ensure that some of his free time would be spent with her, she decided to help him out a bit. She had Harry’s iPod on shuffle while she sorted through all his dirty clothes – which, good god, was a lot.

A sweet, melodic song came on next and she liked it a lot. She had just started the washer, so the running water drown out the beginning, but by the chorus, she recognized Harry’s voice and it caused her heart to flutter. And then it dawned on her – he still hadn’t let her listen to any of his new music.

And, yeah, I let you use me from the day that we first met. But I’m not done yet. Falling for your fool’s gold. And I knew that you turned it on for everyone you met. But I don’t regret falling for your fool’s gold…”

It was a ballad, a love song. And it was beautiful. Harry’s voice was mouth-watering.

 “I’m the first to admit that I’m reckless. I get lost in your beauty and I can’t see two feet in front of me. And I know in my heart you’re just a moving part. And, yeah, I let you use me from the day that we first met. But I’m not done yet falling for your fool’s gold. And I knew that you turned it on for everyone you met. But I don’t regret falling for your fool’s gold. Yeah, I know your love’s not real. That’s not the way it feels. That’s not the way you feel,” she heard her perfect boyfriend’s perfect voice come through the speakers.

When the song ended, Maggie pressed the back button and let it play again. She repeated it a few times, admiring his beautiful voice and how easily it made her melt. Her boyfriend had skills in more ways than one. 

After analyzing the lyrics she realized the song could not possibly be about her. It didn’t make sense if it was about her. So it had to be about Kendall. It had to be. And Maggie knew perfectly well why Harry hadn’t let her hear the song. It didn’t really put his feelings, or former feelings, for his ex in the best of light to his new girlfriend. It was about how he knew their relationship was fake in the end, but how he didn’t regret it. It made it almost sound like his feelings for her never left him.

She dialed Harry’s cell number after she put the iPod on pause. She was certainly curious what his intentions for the song or of her ever hearing the song were.

“Hey, baby,” Harry’s voice came through the receiver once he picked up.

“Hey. So, uh… when are you going to be home?” She asked nonchalantly.

“Uh, I just got out of the studio. I’m just stopping by Whole Foods right now to get some groceries and then I’ll be home. Why?” He told her.

“Just wondering,” she said quietly.

“It shouldn’t be more than a half an hour,” he informed her.

“Okay,” she told him.

“I’ll see you in a little bit. Are you still at my place?” He asked curiously.

“Yup. Me and Hemmy,” Maggie told him, looking over at the dog laying at her feet.

“Oh, hey. I talked to a realtor today,” Harry said, causing her stomach to turn. He talked to a realtor? Were they really ready for that? She still hadn’t made up her mind about it.

“Did you?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’ve got a list of houses and stuff we can look at,” he told her.

“Uh, sounds good,” Maggie said, trying not to sound so taken aback.

“I’m super excited,” he told her and his voice proved that. He sounded like a kid on Christmas. Maggie couldn’t help but smile. He was so adorable sometimes.

“I can tell,” she chuckled and he laughed.

“See you in a half an hour or so?” She questioned.

“You bet. I’m making dinner tonight so be hungry,” he told her.

“Oh, but I just ate a really big lunch,” she told him with a mischievous smirk on her face.

Babbbbbby,” Harry whined.

“I’m just kidding. I’m famished,” she told him.

“Good,” he laughed.

“I’ll see you,” she told him.

“’Kay. I love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” she told him. 

After Maggie threw his wet clothes from the washer into the dryer, she shoved a load of boxers and socks into the washer and all she could think about was his song. It didn’t sit right with her. His words were really digging into her heart. I’m not done yet falling for your fool’s gold.” Like, was it for real? There wasn’t a whole lot of time between when Kendall broke up with him and when he began seeing Maggie. Did he even have time to get over Kendall? With the way he seemed to be rushing into things with Maggie, it seemed like she was just a substitute for what he lost with Kendall.

Maggie was getting incredibly antsy waiting for Harry to get home. Her anxiety was causing her to jump to the worst possible conclusions and she couldn’t stop herself. She just wanted him to get home so they could talk about it. 

By the time Harry’s front door opened, Maggie was lying on the couch in a ball with Hemmy at her feet, trying not to cry. She was an absolute lunatic.

“Baby!” Harry called up the stairs to her. Hemingway jumped up off of the couch and ran toward the stairs.

“Baby, where are you?” Harry called out again. 

Maggie slowly sat up, but when she looked down in his foyer, he wasn’t there. And neither was Hemmy. The door stood wide open and there were two Whole Foods bags in the entryway. Harry returned moments later with two more bags.

“Hemingway, come,” Harry said and the dog ran in the house. Maggie watched as Harry kicked the door shut with his foot. 

“Hey, baby,” he said, looking up the stairs at her as he ascended them with the bags in his hands.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“I got so much food. I swear, I’m never going grocery shopping again while I’m hungry,” he said, stopping to kiss her quickly on the lips before he took the bags to the kitchen.

“Oh, damn. I forgot the papers the realtor gave me in the car,” Harry said as he came back through on his way to get the other two bags. Maggie just sat on the couch silently watching him move around. 

Harry made his way outside again as Hemingway followed diligently. And then moments later they were back. Harry picked up the last two bags and made his way up the stairs again. 

“You look tired,” he said, giving her a good look. Hmm, just a pleasant way to say ‘you look like shit’?

Maggie shrugged and watched as he made his way to the kitchen. Slowly, she pulled herself up off the couch and went into the kitchen too, leaning against the center island, watching him put away the groceries. 

“Come look at these houses!” Harry shouted, not realizing she was already standing in the kitchen with him.

“I’m right here,” she said quietly.

“Oh. Ha,” he said, jumping as he turned toward her.

“Here. Look at these,” Harry said, handing her the papers. 

She fingered through the stack, but she couldn’t focus – not when her mind was elsewhere. Harry began pulling out what he needed to make dinner and started to prepare it.

“What do you think?” He asked excitedly as he turned toward her, pausing his vegetable chopping.

“About what?” She asked.

About what? About the houses,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh, uh… I don’t know,” she said, pretending to sift through them again.

“You don’t like them?” He asked, a frown taking over his entire face.

“It’s not that,” she said quietly.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, concern crossing his features. Maggie just shrugged and Harry abandoned his culinary work to walk over to her. 

“Maggie May, what’s the matter?” He asked, grabbing her arms as he looked into her eyes.

“When are you going to let me listen to your new music?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow. Harry’s expression went from concern to surprise in a matter of seconds.

“You can listen to it whenever,” he said, abandoning her to go back to cooking.

Maggie just stared at him. She stared at the side of his face as he tried concentrating hard on the celery that he was chopping. He looked up at her tentatively from the corner of his eye and then looked back down. She scoffed at him as he made her feel worse with his clandestine attitude.

“Why don’t you want me to hear it?” She asked.

“What? What do you mean?” He scoffed, but said it in a tone that she knew was fabricated. 

Maggie bit her lip and clenched her fists. He was making her angry – so fucking angry. She glared at him and he looked up and saw it.

“Maggie, I’m not hiding it from you, if that’s what you’re getting at,” he chuckled nervously.

“Then why haven’t I heard it?” She asked, trying to keep her voice even.

“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“You’re lying,” she pointed out.

“Maggie…” He sighed.

“I was listening to your iPod today…” She started to say. His eyes went wide for a second before he went back to chopping celery.

“And a song came on,” she told him.

“Did… did you like it?” He asked, trying to act like there wasn’t something wrong.

“I did,” she said. He looked up at her to analyze her expression.

“I get that it’s about Kendall, okay. I get that you’re going to write songs about your relationship…” Maggie started. Harry tensed up – she could see it all over his body.

“It’s…” He started, but couldn’t find the words or something.

“I just – I don’t get how you can write something like, you’re not done falling for her fool’s gold. Like you’re still pining for her. Like you still want her. Like–” She started on a rant.

“Maggie. Maggie–” Harry said, cutting her off.

“No, Harry. I just feel like there’s so much you’re feeling that I don’t know about,” she said, stopping him. Tears welled in her eyes. Harry sighed and closed his eyes.

“This is why I was putting off having you listen to it,” he said, opening his eyes, finding hers.

“Why? Because you are pining for her?” Maggie asked, feeling as if she was going to throw up.

“No! I just, I needed to let go of feelings I felt for her. Maggie, I never told you… Kendall cheated on me,” he said as his face fell.

“She what?” Maggie asked, her mouth dropping open.

“With one of the guys she did a modeling gig with,” Harry said, hanging his head.

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” Maggie choked out.

“I don’t know. I was embarrassed. I don’t know,” he said and she saw his cheeks turn bright red.

“Why would you be embarrassed? What a fucking bitch. Oh my god,” Maggie snapped, getting incredibly angry.

“I’m just… whatever. I just needed to get it out of my system. It hurt a lot,” he said. Maggie took in a deep ragged breath.

“I have you. And I’m over it now. Believe me when I say that,” he said, stepping toward her.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” Maggie said quietly.

“Don’t be. I have you and I know you will never do something like that to me,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Never. I swear to God. Never,” she told him honestly.

“I know,” he said and kissed her lips.

Just then, breaking them out of their moment, the dryer buzzed. 

“Are you doing laundry?” He asked curiously.

“Your laundry,” she said, smiling bashfully at him.

“Baby, you don’t have to do my laundry,” he chuckled.

“Practice for when we live together and we can do a sweet mash-up of our clothes in the washer,” Maggie said, smirking at him.

“You’re sickeningly adorable,” he said, kissing her nose.

“I’ve got to change loads,” she said, smiling at him as she squirmed out of his arms.

“How much of it have you gotten done?” He called after her as she bound out of the kitchen.

“I’m on the last load!” She called back.

“You’re a goddess!” He yelled to her.

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